


I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire (a Sans x Reader)

by Skystreakerz



Series: X Readers [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Graphic deaths, LOTS of violence, Lots of Angst, M/M, Rewrite, Slow Burn, Some Fluff, Tags will be added, The Clergy - Freeform - Freeform, The Surface is a dystopia, Unrealistic Dreams, headcanon: the survival of mages, reader has a lot of prejudices at first because the real monsters are kinda terrible, real monsters, some Fallout inspiration (but not much), x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skystreakerz/pseuds/Skystreakerz
Summary: You live in a small bar with your dad and your cousin in Interonal Port, one of the main cities - if you can call crumbled buildings with tiny buildings within them that - of Lowers. Everything was just fine after your night shift at the bar you and your family owned; a quick shop at the morning market and tending to one of the customers with your cousin. However, everything changed with screams outside the bar door, to which you ran out to investigate.After that, your life changed forever.*THIS IS A REWRITE OF MY FIRST X READER, UPDATES WHENEVER POSSIBLE*





	1. Interonal Port

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Project: New Beginning! Chapters will be added as often as I possibly can. Hopefully I don’t fall out of love with this and my other works like I did for a little while. To everyone from IFG, welcome! To anyone new, I hope you enjoy this fic.

You twirled a metal tray atop your pointer finger, watching it spin into a cylinder of sorts as you leaned back against the counter. It was a regular night at the bar, just about as quiet as it ever was down here in Lowers. You glanced out the cracks in the wall and into ‘Town Square,’ which was more of a network of moving rivers that swirled in a circle through many different abandoned buildings, the main one - which was where you were currently staying - being “Interonal Port.” The buildings were all rusted, or rotting, or on their way to collapse, green covering most of them.

You looked around the hastily put together bar, some of the walls pieces of metal hammered together with the ends of the nails sticking out into the bar space, scarily close to the few booths of wooden crates and torn up pillows that were settled as ‘booths’ along the walls. Others were practically nonexistent - the ‘window walls’ - with glass barely fastened within the wobbly wooden walls and the makeshift wooden door that looked out into the ruins of Interonal Port, as well as all the river systems, the trash-like markets and buildings, the unreliable bridges, the gleaming orange lamps in the darkness of the night, and the occasional boat that rode through the waters going to or coming from other parts of Lowers. There were gaping holes the metal ceiling, which looked directly up at the metal and glass ceiling high above you, some of it providing a spotlight for the little performing stage in the corner. The floor was just the ground, that same cracked and split concrete that always caused quite a scare when someone was unfortunate enough to get their foot caught in one, or dropped something into them. No one had cleaned it in years, so there were the occasional brownish-red stains that dotted the concrete and empty shell casings. The counter was simply just wooden crates hammered into the ground and cut into to make shelves to hold the drinks, ice boxes, and other commodities such as the occasional drug, a pack of cigarettes, or something else that was different from everything else in this world.

“The best bar in Lowers,” they called it.

You sighed as you put the tray down, looking over at the lamp next to you on the bar, grabbing one of the cups you made from metal scraps that had fallen from the crumbling ceiling of Interonal Port and dipping it into the small pool of water that flowed through from the rivers before placing it over the lamp and watching it, hoping the water would start boiling soon. Why were the night shifts always so slow? Not that you minded, it was a much better pace than the frantic pace of the mornings.

You turned on the radio, ticking the volume up a notch or two as you heard what was playing with a small smile on your face.

_ “I don’t want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in your heart.” _

You had to admit, music was your choice of addiction. The Uppers radio system always had such great music from all the time periods of old, from classical, to dubstep, to rock, to jazz, to the blues. You loved it all, and you were saving up to hopefully be a successful musician in Uppers, where only the mages and the rich made it. But for now, you were happily situated in your family bar in Interonal Port town square, practicing on the little stage and serving the Lowers citizens.

_ “In my he-ea-rt I havvvvvve but one des-ire-” _

You sighed, clicking your tongue in disappointment as you turned off the radio. You would buy some batteries with your saved up stash of rare little goodies you had stored. You hoped you would at least get one more song in before the batteries went out, but it looks like that wouldn’t be happening. No fantasizing about being a musician tonight, you supposed.

The sky turned from black, to grey, to a burning orange as the world awoke, the water glittering that same fiery orange as the normal buzz of creatures, boats, and sluggish chatter chorused through the air. The market across the way - a large mass of metal, wood, and cloth strewn together with bridges and lamps surrounding it - was bustling with business, boats and carts making their ways to the port or land entrances inside.

Maybe you would find some batteries today.

You turned around to see the wooden door into you and your family’s living space, palming open the door and making your way inside. You closed the door and walked down the mini hallway, choosing one of the three little doors dotting the hallway - your room - and slipping inside.

There wasn’t much, but it was definitely home. A bed with hand-stitched pillows and blankets from scraps of cloth you found, a wooden, banged up nightstand with your clothes hanging out of the two little drawers, a simple lamp atop the nightstand, and a faded and frayed rug set below the bed, and a few boxes along the tiny room’s far wall holding your makeshift instruments. Above the bed was another small window, which was situated to let in as much light as possible from the skylight. The coziest room you ever had.

You took a mere three steps and you were right in front of your bed. You crouched down, then slid out the rug from under the bed, and under the rug was a small hatch door. You opened the door and slid into the tiny cellar, grabbing a match box from your pocket and plucking out a single match before striking it across the side of the box, sparking a flame in it so you could see in the dark little cellar. You walked around in the cement cellar, finally finding the lamp on a little wood shelf you installed next to the opening and lighting it. The flame flickered and brightened within the black container as you picked it up, walking deeper into the cellar to gaze at the boxes of trading items you still possessed. You went through each one, frowning in thought.

What would the people of Lowers be most interested in today…

You glanced over a few boxes and the contents they contained. Magazines, metal scraps, knives, buckets, guns, guns, more guns, a little wooden figurine, dolls, pillows, clothes, cans, lamp fluid, a hammer or two, metal wires, a shark tooth, a camera, pencils, a blank book with no words or lines, a pot and two pans, rubber, gas, something call ‘sun cream’ - seriously, how do you make the sun a cream? You will never understand - and so on.

Well, you reasoned, the pencils and the blank book would be nice to give away since you heard school was starting soon. Pots, pans, guns, knives, and magazines were always helpful. Let’s start with that.

You grabbed an empty box labeled ‘Market,’ and placed the items into it before walking up into the sunlight again and blowing out your lamp. You blinked and squinted at the bright light in your room, pushing the box out onto your floor before crawling out from under your bed and shutting the hatch behind you. After you made sure everything was in your box, you rested the rug back in place and picked the box back up, making your way out of your room and out the front door, closing the bar and flipping the sign to ‘closed’ as you walked through Interonal Port. You used the wooden bridges to make your way to the market, careful to watch your step over the creaking and groaning wood. The chirping of birds above you was music to your ears, which contrasted harshly with the loud chattering and yelling of the market now only a little bit ahead of you. Soldiers dotted across the bridges, inspecting you and everyone else that made their way through the city - boats included - with guns at their sides, a few even stopping some people to inspect the contents of their wagons or boats. As you made your way up the inclining bridge past the pillar in the middle of town square towards the market, you watched as the canoe-like boats floated past you and towards the buildings further back to the left of you, or taking a turn towards the market dock.

_ Creak, creak, creak _ went the wood with each step below your feet as you got ever closer to the market, almost right in front of the doors and the painted sign above it. You prayed to every god you had ever heard about as you got closer, hoping they would prevent you from falling to the water below you as you rushed the rest of the way and used your side to force open the stuck door.

The door swung open and the voices exploded with the volume, the building packed with moving people with crates, wagons, carts, or even nothing at all going from station to station, marketers waving their products around and shouting how it was ‘authentic,’ or that ‘it was straight from Uppers,’ or that the ‘prices have never been lower,’ or whatever would get them the customers they wanted.

“Knives! Freshly sharpened knives!”

“Extra! Extra!”

“Pumpkin seeds! Come get your pumpkin seeds!”

“No school, no problem! Teaching books and pencils!”

You looked down at the people below you as you leaned over the railings, squinting at the different booths below and in front of you to try and find the one you wanted through the chaos and the haze of smoke from the overexertion of the lamps that lined the sides of the building and were built into parts of the railing. Through the sea of faces, you searched. No, no, no…

There!

You forced your way past the other people on the second floor - the ‘home’ floor - and made your way down the wood and metal ramp, trying your best not to fall over as you struggled to get to the first floor - the ‘foreign’ floor - where it opened out to the dock.

“Hey, watch it!”

“Get yer filthy hands offa me!”

“Go suck a dick, I ain’t sellin!”

“Jus gimme two more days, an’ I’ll fin’ a way to pay ya, I swear!”

You stared ahead as you clutched your box close, being mindful of the people and the feet you were stepping by as you finally walked onto the dock and towards your desired target. A little bright red tent over a supply boat with a sleeping white labrador, and a man standing in front of them, a sign next to him and his crate he stood behind proudly displaying the items he owned. At the top of the list was one of the only things you really came here for - well, besides food of course - and that was “BATTERIES: FULLY CHARGED AND STRAIGHT FROM UPPERS!!!”

You walked up to the man, nearly tripping as you gave a short bow to him. “Hey there, Cai.”

Cai - a tall, freckled guy with a trench coat and a gun slung around his waist - grinned and winked at you, his bright green eyes behind his black hair brightening at the sight of you. “Hey again. Lemme guess, more batteries.”

You laughed and set down your box. “You know me well.”

“Whatcha got for me? Somethin good, I hope?” He looked down at your box, peering at the contents.

You rummaged through the box, humming as you grabbed a few magazines, guns, and other kinds of magazines. The kind you were certain would be worth big money in Lowers. You spread the contents over the crate he had overturned in front of you and looked up at him, grinning.

“This good enough for ya?”

He picked up the paper magazines, thumbing through the pages as he bit this lip. “This’ll do just fine. Where’d you even find these? Thought these were all destroyed by the Clergy.”

You grinned, giving a bit of a shrug. “I have my ways. So, how many batteries you got?”

He immediately swiped everything off the crate and threw them into his supply boat next to his dog, to which opened its eyes and stared up at him a moment before going back to sleep. “How many do ya need?”

“Four for now, please.” You grinned, holding open your little pouch on your belt.

“You got it!” He turned around and started rummaging through the contents of his canoe. “Oh, I also got some news from Uppers, ya interested?”

You shrugged. Sometimes it was interesting. “Sure, why not? Might be entertainin.”

He laughed, going through a different box. “Oh, trust me, it is. Heard some chatter from some of my suppliers that there’s some newcomers that blew into town. An, from what I hear, they got magic like the Clergy.”

You bristled, clenching your gloved hands into fists.  _ More  _ magic users? Wasn’t there  _ enough _ mages and members of the Clergy already? Why was the Clergy calling for  _ more _ ?

“Thing is about these new magic people, there’s apparently somethin weird about ‘m.” He flinched as he accidently knocked something over in one of his boxes. “Shit. Anyways, these new magic guys apparently ain’t even human. Not like the Phantoms or the Sinners, but free-thinking non-humans.” He turned back around and slid over the batteries, to which you stuffed into your pouch and zipped it back up. He glanced around in search of any Lawmen listening in before leaning in closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper as he started speaking again. “They say they’re monsters.”

You blinked in surprise. Sentient monsters? There was no way. The only monsters there were was the monsters that lurked in the ocean or in the surrounding forests. The thought of coming face-to-face with one of them was even more terrifying than the Clergy’s lawmen, and  _ that _ was saying something.

“How? How can they be sentient?” You muttered back, leaning closer as well so you could speak even quieter still.

“I’m not sure yet, but I heard some of ‘m ‘r’ makin their way down to Lowers.” He leaned back, grinning. “Anything else ya want?”

You sighed, shaking your head as you closed your box and waved him farewell. “See ya tomorrow, Cai.”

“See ya!” He cheered after you, turning to another customer that came up to his counter to buy something. “Hey there, what can I getcha?”

Cai’s voice faded behind you as you made your way back into the main market, peering through the smoke clouds as you looked for your next destination. You collected food from the farmers in exchange for the empty book and pencils, bottles for gun magazines and some pistols, and some tea bags in exchange for one of your pans. Looks like you got everything you needed for the day and more!

You made your way back to the bar and grinned when you saw the sign flipped to read “Open!” Looks like your cousin was up and at ‘em already. You pushed open the front door and walked inside, grinning at your cousin as you set down the box on the bar counter, restocking the drinks and food.

“Hey there, how’d the market go?”

“Just fine, Elana.” You placed some of the tea packets into the ‘specials’ section before grabbing some of the glasses. “When’d you get up?”

“A little bit ago.” Elana grinned down at you, tucking some of her curly red hair behind her ear as she gave a bright little grin, her bright purple eyes sparkled. “Didja bring anything cool back?”

“Eh.” You shrugged and stood up, brushing yourself off as you stood back up and put the market box away. “Not really. Got some batteries for the radio, though.” You zipped open your pouch and opened up the radio, throwing the dead batteries into the makeshift trash can before replacing them.

_ “...ey brother how’s it goin? You got a record spinnin…” _

“Yes!” You did a little dance before looking over at Elana. “Anyone come in yet?”

“No, not really, but- oh!” She turned to the door as it opened. “Hello, sir, and welcome to Starks Bar. What can I getcha?”

The man - a soldier, judging by his big gun by his side and his tan colored trench coat with a blue shirt and tan boots with a blue mask over his face - sat down on one of the makeshift stools at the bar, sliding his mask away to reveal dark skin with teeth mark scars over his cheeks.

“Just some clean water.”

“Oh, General T! Of course, right away.” Elana made her way to the lamp, placing the tray over it and dipping a cup into the river before setting the cup on top of the tray. “Would you like any flavors in the water, or just water?”

“You don’t have to call me General, just T is fine.” T tapped at the wood surface of the bar. “Nah, I just need some water. Spent the night patrolling outside Interonal and I need a bit of a refreshment.”

Elana stood back up, grinning at T. “Did you find anything on the beach?”

He chuckled, his golden eyes twinkling. “Nah, not this time. Just some shells and scraps of metal too rusted to be useful. Also found some dead fish, though I doubt that’s what you mean.”

Elana shrugged, rearranging some of the items under the bar. “Ah well, thought I’d ask.”

“You know I would tell you if I did.” He picked up the cup that Elana set in front of him, staring down at the steaming water before taking a tiny sip, flinching before he set it down before looking at you. “So, how did night shift go? Anything happen?”

You shook your head, sighing. “Not really. This new curfew is really killin the business at night, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know whatcha mean.” He blew on his drink before taking another testing sip, this time deeming it worthy to just down the whole thing with a sigh. “Now that’s some good shit. Anyways, with the Clergy getting all crazy with the curfew on weekends is gettin annoyin. Barely have time to do anythin, ya know?”

“Oh, don’t I know it.” Elana poked at the bar. “Still gotta keep the doors open in case, ya know?”

“Yeah.” He took off his trench coat and groaned. “This thing always seems so he-”

Screams ripped through the air outside, the three of you snapping your heads to the window walls. You even heard a crash behind you, probably from your dad falling to the floor from the loud scream. T slipped back on his mask and threw his trench coat back in place before running out the door, followed by you and Elana, and then your father when he slammed open the back door and scrambled up behind you.

“What happened? What’s-”

“Don’t know yet, dad.” You watched as people were sprinting back to their houses behind the market bridge, carrying their children and pets to get away from whatever was on your side of the bridge.

_ “... You have no right to say no.” _

You searched for the source of the source of the sound, your eyes widening as you saw a new canoe carrying one of the scariest thing imaginable.

There was a hoodie-wearing phantom next to a phantom with armor and a red scarf on one of the canoes behind a human with a blue and pink sweater.

_ Sentient phantoms!? _

_ “Tonight it’s ready set go.” _


	2. The Phantoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out just who the hell these Phantoms are... and if they're really Phantoms at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually super proud of myself. It hasn't been a week yet, and already I have another chapter up! It feels amazing to be able to update so fast now.  
> Also, if you would like to do something, such as writing together or just talk about random stuff, feel free to contact me through email, whether that be actual email threads, or Google Hangouts.

“Shit!”

A loud siren rang out from the pillar in the middle of town square, the soldiers all taking positions and aiming their weapons - including T - at the Phantoms whilst the other residents of Interonal Port retreated further into the interior of the crumbling building for safety. T pressed a button on his mask where his temple was, the laser pointer glowing brightly from the end of his weapon.

“On my signal. The little one might possibly be a Phantom too.”

He held up his hand as the child in the boat waved their arms frantically the closer they got to the four of you. T stationed himself in the front, then your dad behind T, and you in front of Elana. Your dad took out his shotgun, and you slipped out a knife from your belt as you crouched down a bit, ready to pounce should the Phantoms shriek.

The one in the blue hoodie was staring at you, you were sure of it; those abysses of eye sockets told everything. A toothy smile stretched across the bright white skull, the magic rolling off of it in waves. The other one - the one with a bright orange scarf and armor that protected half its chest and another permanent grin with no lights in the black eye sockets - was nervously glancing around, pulling at the red gloves over its hands. These were no ordinary Phantom, oh no.

These ones were the work of the Clergy.

As the boat got closer, the child jumped off the side and scrambled up to T, still frantically waving their arms around at him in hopes of stopping him from firing. The child used their shaking hands to sign something to him in ASL - a language T was known for being able to translate - and looked back at the Phantoms before turning back to him again, bright red eyes laced with fear. Well, it was guaranteed the child wasn’t a Phantom, their eyes weren’t a dead black. But, that still didn’t explain how there was  _ sentient Phantoms _ in front of you.

And, to your utter astonishment, T  _ lowered his gun _ !

“T, what are you  _ doing _ ?” Your dad hissed as he clutched at his shotgun.

He held up his hand to him to keep him silent, then started signing to the child for a few moments, to which they responded, and he gave a short nod.

“They are not Phantoms.”

“How can they  _ not _ be Phantoms?” You cut in. “I mean, look at them, they’re the perfect image of a Phantom!”

“hey,  _ bud _ -”

Your hand immediately shot up at the voice, making two of the three in front of you jump back in surprise at the knife suddenly up in the air.

“mind if you stop callin us phantoms? ‘cause, i’m pretty sure we’re no such thing.” The one in the blue jacket narrowed its sockets at you, grin stretching wider.

You only clutched harder at your knife. What did the Clergy  _ do _ to those Phantoms? How did the Clergy make the skull so… so…  _ malleable _ ?

“You’re the work of the Clergy.” You tried to take a step forward, only for your dad to put his arm out to stop you. “Don’t think we can’t sense the magic comin off ya like that.” The skeleton’s grin dropped a bit in surprise, to which you ignored. “What does the Clergy want from us  _ now _ ?”

“Enough,” T snapped, looking back at you for a few moments before turning back to the other three. “You said you are Frisk, yes?”

The child gave a small nod, looking around before doing quite a few more hand gestures.

“I will once I call the all-clear.” He pressed a finger to the button on his temple. “False alarm, these ones aren’t Phantoms. Tell the citizens they can come on back now. Yes, I know what they look like, but they’re not Phantoms. You all know full well they would have shrieked already if they were Phantoms. Now, tell the others they can come back.”

The soldiers all put down their guns, some of them making their way into the deeper parts of Interonal Port while others settled back into their patrol stations. It was then the taller not-Phantom spoke, giving a nervous laugh.

“Hello, tall humans with scary knives and guns. We have come to return the human to their parents. This is a…” it looked around, pulling at its gloves again, “n-nice place you have here.”

You simply put your knife away, shaking your head as you stepped back. “Yeah. Sure is.” You grabbed Elana’s arm, pulling her back towards the Starks Bar.

“What the hell are those?”

You shook your head, sighing as you pulled out a cigarette and your silver lighter, flipping open the lid and sparking a flame to life, to which you held to the end of the cigarette. You handed it to Elana - who you knew was desperate for a smoke - before putting it away and putting the cigarettes away. “Not sure, El.”

The snatched the cigarette from your fingers and immediately put it between her lips, taking a deep inhale of smoke before taking the cigarette away and blowing the smoke in a ring shape. Her favorite to make ever since she learned how. “Magic sentient Phantoms. Makes no goddamn sense.”

“Yeah.” You looked over to the radio still rattling on with ads and songs.

_ “-r number one provider for all your favorite weaponry! Manual, semi-automatic, fully automatic, we got it all! Mira, in guns we trust.” _

_ “Now, how about a few songs from way back? Up next, we got The Wanderer by Dion.” _

The drift of the next song came through the speakers, to which you listened to as you went to make another cup of water, sighing as Elana let out another puff of smoke. You could hear muttering between T, your dad, and the two non-Phantoms outside as you watched the water boil, tapping at the bar surface.

“There might be some free spaces for living further into Interonal Port and back this way,” your dad answered, pointing back towards the right of the houses past Market Bridge. “Though, I’m not sure how kindly people will take to the both of ya. But, if ya really wanna stay here somewhere, I’m sure those two can show ya around Interonal.” You saw your dad gesture towards the both of you. Oh no, this can’t end well.

You heard a voice answer him - the one in the hoodie - before your dad started talking again.

“Can we getcha a drink? Some food of some kind?” Your dad pushed open the door to the bar, gesturing them to follow after and showing them to the stools at the bar.

“Please tell me you don’t have any greasy food…” the taller one muttered, shaking its head as it sat down in one of the stools, towering over you even as it was sitting.

You blinked in confusion at what it had said. Greasy? How do you get greasy food? Oh well, a question for another time. You shook your head, giving the non-Phantom the best smile you could. “So, what can I getcha? We got water, just a few bottles of gin, a bottle of wine, three cans of beer, two bottles of whisky, some tea packets fresh from Uppers, bread cooked fresh this morning, and-”

“Do you have any oatmeal with dinosaur eggs in it?”

Guess you can never get too surprised with this one, can you?

“Oatmeal with... dinosaur eggs?”

It looked confused that you looked confused, then repeated the question. “Yes, do you have oatmeal with dinosaur eggs in it?”

“... Dinosaurs have been extinct for a really long time.”

The taller looked over at the one with the hoodie. “I don’t think the human understands, Sans.”

Haha, what? They have names? Of course they do, stupid, they’re sentient. And, Phantoms still had names at one point, of  _ course _ these ones have names.

“nah, and judging by that expression, this one don’t know a lotta things we’re talkin about.”

You made a low sound, reaching for the cup you put on top of the lamp and taking a sip from the piping hot water. “So, what can I getcha? Water’s free, everything else is gonna cost ya.”

“Oh. Well, do you have any oatmeal at least?”

You looked down at the wood, tapping against it. “No. We haven’t had oatmeal down this way in a long time. But, we have bread and a buncha drinks. How’s that sound?”

They hummed and turned to the one in the hoodie. “Sans, what do you think?”

The other one just shrugged, still staring at you with dark sockets. “not sure, bro.” Oh my- they’re related? “bread seems like the only thing they got food-wise.”

You nodded, grabbing one of your clean rags from the ‘supplies’ shelf under the bar counter and cleaning off the cups that had been used before throwing them into the bowl in the corner. You would clean the cups off later. “Well, you’re not wrong, but it is fresh from the market this morning. Heard the one that sells the bread got wheat fields all along the mountainside out East.” You shrugged, pulling out a plate of bread and smiling up at the two of them. “Care to have any?”

“Oh, yes! That looks absolutely delicious!” The one with the red gloves grabbed for a piece of bread.

“Oh good.” You waited for the two of them to each take a piece before putting it back below the bar. “So, where you from, anyway?”

“up north,” the one in the hoodie started. “come from under mount ebott.”

You looked between them, your mouth gaping as Elana coughed and choked on the smoke at the answer, her eyes watering. “You’re kidding. Death Mountain? You guys are the monsters that live under Death Mountain?”

The both of them flinched at the nickname as Frisk came back in with T, the one in the scarf answering. “Well, yes. We were sealed under Mount Ebott by magic humans-”

“The founders of Clergy.” T took a sip from his cup. “Yes.”

You couldn’t believe this. These were the monsters under Death Mountain!

“Damn.” You were practically beaming, grin bright across your face. “How much stuff have you seen thrown away by the Clergy? What kind of books do you have? Do you have any really good magazines? Books? Music? Elana, can you believe this?” You yanked her over as she shook her head, still coughing. “These are the monsters under Death Mountain!”

The two were taken aback, leaning away from you and Elana. “Um, should I be concerned?”

“No,” T cut in, taking a seat next to the two Death Monsters. “No, you don’t have to be worried. None of us have many magazines, music, games, and books that are from the century before. The only things we have are salvaged pieces of the past we found in the forests and mountains, or whatever the Clergy deemed worthy and ‘without vices.’ This one,” T gestured to you, “just has endless amounts of curiosity.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning as you leaned back. “Can’t help that I’m interested.” You looked over at the Death Monsters. This couldn’t be all that bad after all. Maybe these guys have something you could use. “So? What kind of stuff has the Clergy thrown down to you guys since you’re the one that ‘took all our sins away’?”

The two monsters looked between each other before looking back at you. “Well, there’s something called ‘Triple X: All Your Seductresses.’ Something like that?”

The one in the hoodie - Sans, was it? - looked up at the one with the scarf with such a disbelieving face that you swore he was almost mad.

_ The  _ Triple X!?

You slammed your hands down onto the bar, staring up at the monster with a newfound determination. “Yes! Where can I get all the magazines and volumes? I  _ need _ them.  _ All _ of them.”

They both looked at you with barely-masked disgust.

“Do you have them with you? Do you have anything else? What about-”

“okay, slow down there, bud.” The one in the jacket held his hand up. “we don’t even know your name, and you don’t know ours. can’t just start trading if we don’t start with the basics.”

You blinked. Really? Someone wanted to know your name? Really, anyone who knew your real name was T, your family, and Cai. Other than that, well… most don’t really care what your name is anymore. It’s just ‘bartender!’ or ‘hey there, mind if I take ya back t’ my place fer th’ night?’

Deciding it would be worth finding out your future magazine dealer’s names and getting on their better side after the events of a few minutes ago, you told them, to which they responded in kind.

“Nice to meet you, tall human! I am Papyrus the Skeleton, and this is my lazy-bones brother Sans the Skeleton.” Papyrus did some sort of pose in their stool, the scarf wrapped around their neck waving slightly in the nonexistent breeze.

Skeletons, huh? That would explain why they looked so much like Phantoms. And, you were right about the hoodie’s name, so that’s a plus.

“So, about the magazines.” You looked up at Papyrus, your determination glowing brighter. “What do you want? I have a bunch of stuff. You can take whatever I have, but I  _ need _ those magazines.”

Elana and T both giggled from the sides, but mostly Elana as T was trying not to laugh from behind his mask while continuing to sign with Frisk. “Slow down there, you sound like a porn addict.”

You smacked the back of Elana’s head. “Hush, you. You  _ know _ those magazines are good business.” You looked back to Papyrus. “So?”

“well,” Sans started, prompting you to look over at him, “we gotta see whatcha got.”

“You wanna gun? Some Clergy money? Sun cream? A radio? A remote? Wires? A generator? Metal? A hammer? Some services to help ya build’ger new house? Seriously, what the hell d’ ya want?” You slammed your hands down on the bar more violently, shaking the lamp and splitting the wood just a little bit more.

“You gotta stop doing that.” Elana put out her cigarette. “I’m not sure if we even have any more crates after last time.”

You sighed, running a hand down your face. “What do you two want?”

“What do you think, brother?” Papyrus turned to Sans. “I’m sure if this tall human helps us build our house for just a few magazines, then we should just do it!”

Sans simply shrugged. “yer the boss, bro.”

You gave Papyrus pleading eyes. “I promise I’ll make up for whatever I did to offend you and more, I swear. Just  _ please _ lemme work for those magazines.  _ Please _ .”

You could see Papyrus struggle as he made a whining sound. “Of course, tall human! But, we don’t even know where we’ll be staying???”

You bit your lip and looked out the windows in front of you, searching for the black clothes your dad was known for wearing. He was nowhere in your sight, meaning he was probably out finding an open lot further back, or he was behind someone. “Well, we should have an empty lot here somewhere. And, if not, there might be a piece of land in the other parts of Lowers.”

“Oh. So, is this only one part of this place you call Lowers?”

You nodded, leaning against the bar counter. “Yup, the busiest, and the biggest. Ya live here, welcome to the high life of Lowers.”

Papyrus seemed a bit uncomfortable with that, but nodded anyway. “R-Right!”

You chuckled and shook your head. “It’s fine to express your disgust, we’re pretty used to it down here.” You glanced over at Elana, who was watching the three of you almost too intently. “So, there can’t be just two monsters under the mountain. Where are the others?”

“Hm? Oh!” Papyrus shot up. “They’re up on the top of Mount Ebott! We are the scouts that would make sure to make friendly relationships with the people down here!”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. It was better than being stuck in the forest somewhere. “Are they all like you, or…?”

Sans chuckled and shook his skull. “nah, we’re special. it’s pretty bone-rattling.”

“SANS!”

You heard Elana giggle as you forced yourself to stop from joining her. “Well, I’m not the mayor of Interonal, but I can at least put in a good word for you and your people.”

Especially if you can score more stuff the Clergy threw away.

“I found you a piece of land you three might do good in!”

The monsters jolted as your dad burst in, grinning.

“It’s not too big, but-”

“Um, sir?”

Your dad looked up at Papyrus. “Yes?”

“We… might need more land for just the three of us???”

You sighed and shook your head. “They have more people up on Death Mountain,” you interjected.

“... Oh. Well, we don’t have much room, unless we expand to the unused parts of Interonal Port, but I’m sure we could find something!”

You swore, sometimes he was too optimistic. I guess it was a fresh look on the world compared to most, but sometimes it was just too much.

“You sure?” Elana looked up at him. “I’m almost positive that the area you’re talking about is barely structurally sound, not to mention it’s on the  _ second floor _ . You know we can’t build up there until someone makes the structure more steady.”

“They’ve built up parts of it, and I’m sure when they’re finished with the first section, they will love the area. Really good real estate when it’s finished.” He grinned at all of you. “So, uh… when do you need this all ready?”

Papyrus and Sans looked between each other before looking back at your dad.

“... A month at most?”

“Oh, god damnit.”

You chuckled and pulled out your knife, then the sharpener. “There’s probably no way we can do that, but in any case, you two need to chill for the night.” You nodded to the staircase out to the left, which led up into the second floor with many different squares and a painted sign with the words ‘MOTEL: OPEN’ above it. “I’m sure some people will give ya both a room, and if not, just come talk to my dad.”

“Thank you, tall human!” Papyrus got up. “Come on, Sans-”

“Wait wait- ah, fuck it, never mind.” You watched as the two skeletons disappeared out the front door and made their way down the wooden bridges towards the hotel. “I’m too tired for this. Elana, take over for me. T, ya need anything else?”

“Nah.” He waved you off. “We’ll be fine. Go sleep.” He grinned. “Just about to do that myself. He turned to Frisk, signing something to them. “Looks like the same goes for this one too.”

What a relief.

“Awesome. Well, I’m off to sleep the day away. See y'all tonight.” With that, you retreated to your room, stripping off whatever unnecessary clothing you had on before collapsing onto your bed and falling asleep in an instant.

Man, what a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magic.

**Author's Note:**

> Like my stuff? Check my stuff out on tumblr and deviantart! I don't have much up now (and my deviantart is full of cringe that I did over a year ago), but posts will come soon!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fanfricksion  
> https://www.deviantart.com/qnaskydoesart
> 
> Comments, suggestions, misspelling and grammar errors pointed out, and criticism is always appreciated! Thank you for your support!  
> -SS


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